Release the Stars…
…upon us all a little rain must fall.far away, away, away
i will live my life as a lobsterman’s wife on an island in the blue bay.
he will take care of me, he will smell like the sea,
and close to my heart he’ll always stay.
i will bear three girls all with strawberry curls, little Ella and Nelly and Faye.
while i’m combing their hair, i will catch his warm stare
on our island in the blue bay.
far away far away, i want to go far away.
to a new life on a new shore line.
where the water is blue and the people are new.
to another island, in another life.
there’s a boy next to me and he never will be anything but a boy at the bar.
and i think he’s the tops, he’s where everything stops.
how i love to love him from afar.
when he walks right pass me then i finally see on this bar stool i can’t stay.
so i’m taking my frown to a far distant town
on an island in the blue bay.
far away far away, i want to go far away.
to a new life on a new shore line.
where the water is blue and the people are new.
to another island, in another life.
i want to go far away.
away away, i want to go far away, away, away
i want to go far away, far away.
where the water is blue and the people are new.
to another life, to another life.
to another shore line
in another life.
-ingrid michaelson . far away-
good night
it was a good night. no complaints. i should have said a proper goodbye, but i am just not good at that yet. supposed to see him this weekend :) it was a good night. almost perfect
some sox love
after winning the world series, i think this was my favorite part of the celebration aftermath and all the champagne soaked interviews. it edges out the papeldance only because it shows the real heart of this team and the reason why i watch them everyday and keep coming back to support them even when they weren’t winning games.
from timlin to timmy with love
maybe i’m falling for you
i really like him. i thought it would die down when i didn’t see him as often anymore, but i think it has only gotten stronger. i’m just comfortable around him, and i was from the second i met him. i think it is different this time. i just worry that he thinks i am too young for him, but maybe i can change his mind. i just want him to know everything about me and i want to know everything about him. i feel safe. and i want this to continue and get stronger and grow and never stop. here is to hoping i guess. and finally making a move for it!
…i think that possibly, maybe i’m falling for you
yes theres a chance that i’ve fallen quite hard over you.
i’ve seen the paths that your eyes wander down
i want to come to
i think that possibly, maybe i’m falling for you
no one understands me quite like you do
through all of the shadowy corners of me
i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew
i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew
i think that possibly, maybe i’m falling for you
yes theres a chance that i’ve fallen quite hard over you.
i’ve seen the waters that make your eyes shine
now i’m shining too
because oh because
i’ve fallen quite hard over you
if i didn’t know you, i’d rather not know
if i couldn’t have you, i’d rather be alone
i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew
i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while, i never knew
all of the while , all of the while…
landon pigg - falling in love in a coffee shop
going to a town
been listening to rufus a lot lately getting myself pumped for his show in sept. i cant wait. it will be a nice relief once classes start up again.
i really dont know what i am going to do with my life. i feel like i am both getting pushed closer and closer to the “normal” life but still seeing myself moving further and further from it as the years go on and i am still so socially awkward. yay self confidence and LA really helping me out in getting over the issues. i know deep down that that is the reason i really dont like LA, because i constantly feel like i have to compete with the anorexic, self tanning, boozing it up, dumb ass girls that rule the market here. and i dont like changing myself just to survive. i love being home where i feel like i am around people who dont constantly care whether you are wearing seven jeans, or ones from target as long as they look good, they are good enough for your friends and everyone else looking at you. i think personality can take you a lot farther there. here it always seems to come second, if not dead last.
but i do seem to have found a good core at last and that is what i really needed. people to relate to that i dont have to censor myself around. i hate that. moving to this new apt seems to be helping me in finding the good things about this city…but i still need some more convincing that people actually like living here and arent holding on to the idea of living here and what it means when they tell people they reside in LA and can see the Hollywood sign from their apt window. those arent the important things and i know that now. i need my girls back home, my cats, my sox and people who seem like the generally want to know YOU underneath it all. plus i need a little more rock and roll in my life, not this shitty hip hop and club music that plagues the stations out here. ugh. but i do get to see some sweet art shows.
and i think i have a crush. we’ll see how it plays out. but i love his eyes, they just seem so kind. i havent seen kind eyes in a while and it is quite refreshing. i think i seem to young for him though, which is a new one for me. i always feel too old for my crowd. i just want him to ask me to lunch once, or say “bye” to me at the end of the day. i should probably take the initiative though and say good night sometime. hopefully before my last day. i dont want to stay like this forever, i really dont.
worst summer ever.
no one is here…court always works, i am about to start working, i wont get to go camping, i waont ge to lay by a lake, no soft serve from king kone, no kitties, no friends. just smog, tv and work. oh fun.
hatred
bush and his lovely followers are once again trying to instill hate in this society. as if there isnt enough of it already, he wants to veto a bill that would make attacks against ones gender and sexual orientation a hate crime. some think that by doing that it would not allow them to express their religious beliefs against homosexuality, but the bill would not stop them from expressing their first amendment rights to write about it and talk about their feelings it would only stop someone from committing a violent act against another human being because of their gender or choice of partner. and you would think that any person who believed the word of the bible would agree that we should not commit violent acts against another person just because we dont agree with their lifestyle, especially if what you dont like about them only has to do with who they choose to love and their act is not a violent one to being with. i just cant wrap my mind around the fact that people can still be so hateful towards someone who is just trying to love. thoughts and opinions and ideas like that are what really and truly turn me off from religion. i just cant worship something where one would be allowed to hate so many people yet still consider themselves a religion of acceptance and understanding. it is so hypocritical and infuriating to me that even my roommates who “ask god” daily to make them more forgiving and accepting, yet when i express my opinions about not having a problem with someone who is gay, or that if my husband ended up telling me he was gay 20 years into our marriage that i would choose to accept him and love him and keep him in my life and my families life, while they would choose to not trust, or love, or keep them in their lives. it just disgusts me that people my age being brought up int he same world can still feel this way. it shouldnt surprise me, but it does. if it makes you happy, and you arent being hateful or hurtful, be my guest and do as you wish. because i am still trying to make myself completely happy and be as strong as all the people out there who have chosen to be themselves and not let this society keep them down.
here we go again…
so katherine is in scotland, julie is in france, the other katherine is in denmark and elizabeth is in spain. and i am jealous. too bad usc is soooo backwards on so many things, like studying abroad, that they only give less than half the graduating class a chance to study abroad. in architecture of all things, seeing the world and studying abroad would be so helpful and add so much to their career and their education.
well here i sit watching “what a girls wants” with amanda bynes for the second time today because i am sick of our movies and there is nothing better on tv to have on while i try and do some work for my project due next week. but obviously that is going well since i am posting on this blog! haha
i’ve also notice myself being wayyyy too caught up in hollywood crap. it doesn’t matter. and my life isn’t going to be better for knowing about other peoples lives. but i do feel bad for britney and all this latest hooplah…i really do think sh eis having a mid-life crisis, and she is only like 24!! and has 2 kids! and has been married/divorced 2 times! too fast, too much. she needs help to stop. the thing with the shaving her head and getting more tattoos and parting and showing her bits and pieces all over the place, i just dont get why she isnt home, with her family enjoying them? GO HOME! take a break! you dont need to be out all night any more. dont get me started on the whole anna nicole thing. the media is so shameless and i keep getting sucked it. yuck. so i am going to try and take a break from all that and focus on me. and believe me there is plenty to focus on right now..
i have to work out my expenses, plan on buying a car, find a place to live next year, find a job for the summer, plan a trip to visit such friends overseas, do school work, go home for my b-day, and maybe start to try and get healthy for once. oy vey. and i kind of still want some sort of social life! haha.
i don’t want to be this cynical anymore. i want to see more of the good in the world, and focus on that. it is just os hard with all of the bad being shoved in front of me all of the time…i think i need to start having hobbies on the side to keep me grounded and keep me focused. maybe i’ll bring my skates out with me and start skating again. its the one thing i really truly miss doing from highschool. maybe i’ll even join a team!? who knows. hopefully it will all work out.
i dont really want to stay here this summer. at all. but luckily i will probably be able to find a good job in the field and i am gonna need one if i want to keep growing and get some different view points and experiences to see if i really love it or not. and maybe even help guide me to what i want to do with my education.
growing up sucks. i want to go back to chasing boys around the playground. who wants to go with me?
and see how she skips, the moon how she drifts…
The moon, all too fair, in your russet-red hair sets a sparkling crown
The moon, all too red with glory, is spread on your poor, tattered gown
The moon, all too white, caresses the light in your world-weary eyes
Princess of the street, do allow me to greet you, my broken heart cries
The steps of Montmartre, all uphill, are hardest on the poor
The sails of the mill, like wings, shelter all paramours
I feel, beggar-girl, your fetters, they curl as they seek out my wrists
I feel your young breasts, your thin little waist
I lose my regrets
I taste on your mouth the feverish breath of a half-starving waif
And with your caress I sense drunkenness erasing my life
The steps of Montmartre, all uphill, are hardest on the poor
The sails of the mill, like wings, shelter all paramours
And see how she skips, the moon how she drifts,
The princess in tow
Da da da da da da da da da da
My reveries grow
The steps of Montmartre, all uphill, are hardest on the poor
The sails of the mill, like wings, shelter all paramours
oh rufus, you make my heart weap everytime i hear this song…
why haven’t i found love? why can’t i open my heart? why can’t i just let go and let someone, anyone in? they always say its never to late to love, but its starting to feel like time if running out. but i dont want to settle, i don’t think it would be worth it in the end to settle. i don’t need it to be magical, i just need it to be real, sitting next to me and not in my head or in my movies or in my songs anymore…i want to learn how to truly love, and see what al the fuss is about 
might post the song later when i have more time…
Yay for computer literate people!
i should get this person a present! yay for someone making and downloading a christmas layout!
